


A Detoured River

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, river's shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and River take a trip, but nothing goes as planned. For the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Detoured River

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deinonychus_1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deinonychus_1/gifts).



> Written for the lovely deinonychus_1 who gave me the prompt “That's the last time I let you order the wine!” Set roughly after the Doctor dropped Amy and Rory off back home. Originally posted to LiveJournal in 2014.

“Come on, sweetie, the tour hasn't finished yet.”

The Doctor followed River, but removed his hand from hers and darted around behind her, hoping that she wasn't talking as loudly as he suspected she was. One of these days he was going to make the TARDIS come to him just by clicking his fingers, and then what would River do.

“It wouldn't work; she's too smart for that.”

The Doctor frowned, caught his reflection in a mirror, and then frowned some more, pulling at his forehead with his fingers.

River spun around, saw what he was doing and sighed. “You've been talking to yourself ever since you dropped Amy and Rory back home.”

“No I haven’t,” the Doctor said. River merely rolled her eyes. “I haven’t,” the Doctor said. “Have I?” he asked his reflection. His reflection just looked puzzled.

“Over here,” River called out and the Doctor absolutely did not pick up his pace to follow her.

He wasn’t really sure what they were doing on this planet anyway. Mostly abandoned, it was a 23rd century alien version of Herculaneum. Streets full of life would take a sudden turn into an abandoned and ash covered mausoleum for a lost civilization. The fact that the disaster which had wiped out a third of the population was completely due to Nature was no comfort.

“I do have other things I could be doing, other than following you around, you know,” the Doctor said.

River's smile told him all he needed to know about what she thought about that.

So he followed. Best not to think about how many times he followed River without quite knowing where it would lead him.

They ended up in a dingy bar full of interesting people, though not a human in sight. River motioned for the bartender, a red faced creature with purple spiky hair to come over and while they waited the Doctor found a table in the corner where he could watch the world go by.

A few patrons eyed him warily, before returning to their card games and conversations. River flirted with everyone as easily as she breathed, but the Doctor pretended not to notice.

“You look nervous,” River said to him.

“Me?” The Doctor fussed with his bow tie and started looking for the exits.

“If I promise not to eat you up, will you relax?”

The Doctor looked inclined to disagree, but then he saw something that attracted his attention even more.

Then his attention was completely focused on something else, as a waitress nudged her way past his table, knocking at a jug of water with her tail. The Doctor caught it easily with one hand and returned it on the table next to his.

“Good catch,” River said.

She examined the drinks menu that the bartender passed to her. The Doctor reached for it, but River absently slapped his hands away.

“This one,” she said, deliberately keeping the menu out of the Doctor's eye line.

The Doctor made a face and then sat back in his chair. Again something in the corner attracted his attention and just as quickly his attention waned.

“What do you want, River?”

River quirked an eyebrow at him. “What makes you think I want anything?”

“You always want something.”

River didn't deny it. Instead she looked around the bar, her eyes finally settling on a small ferret looking man wearing a dark blue coat which shimmered with symbols that the Doctor couldn't quite make out.

“Back soon,” she said, and blew him a kiss as she got up and went over to the mystery man. The Doctor tried to school his face into a neutral expression, but accepted that he had failed when several aliens moved away from him to sit elsewhere.

Bored, he started making up stories about the other patrons. He decided that the Sontaran in the corner was having an illicit tryst with the Hath sat ignoring him. The Silurian a few tables away was clearly about to insult the Shambonie who kept staring at her. And the Silence in the corner was no doubt following him.

Wait, what?

The Doctor shook his head and went back to trying to work out what River was doing, but just as he saw her disappear behind a curtain near the back of the bar, the waitress returned and planted a bottle of blue wine on the table.

The Doctor stared at the bottle and watched as it started to vibrate.

“That's curious,” he said. He raised up his hand towards the bottle and watched, fascinated, as his hand started to vibrate as well.

“Time to go!” River shouted, exiting the back room at speed with a bag she hadn't been using before slung over her back.

The Doctor took a second to glance between the bottle and River's retreating back before kicking back his chair and moving as quickly as he could past the other patrons.

He fell to the floor, tripped up by the tail of something and the tentacle of something else. As he was about to get up he caught another glimpse of something, which vanished as quickly as it had appeared in his peripheral vision. Shaking his head to clear it he suddenly heard the discharge of weapons above his head.

“What are you waiting for?” River shouted.

The Doctor had no good answer for that but just as he started to stand up the wine bottle behind him exploded, showering the room with hot liquid and glass.

He fell back to the ground, rolled over someone's legs and then picked himself up, running vaguely in the direction he had seen River disappearing to.

A hand grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him around a corner.

“That's the last time I let you order the wine!”

“Come on,” River said, pulling him after her.

They ran away from the wreckage, back towards where the TARDIS was parked.

“You suggested we come here,” the Doctor said, accusing. He tried to stand in River's way before she got near the TARDIS' door, but she easily sidestepped him.

“Yes, I did, didn't I?”

“What were you doing?”

River hitched her bag across her shoulders. “Just gathering supplies.”

“Supplies? What supplies?”

But River merely smiled and stepped inside the TARDIS.

The Doctor stood staring after her for a moment and then looked back towards the city they'd fled from. Smoke still swirled high above the buildings and he could just make out voices, all no doubt shouting something unpleasant.

“ _River?”_ he asked, letting as much frustration as he could muster seep into his voice.

“Spoilers, sweetie,” River replied as she stuck her head outside of the door and then pulled him into a quick kiss. “Now, are you coming or do I have to leave you here? You know she loves me best.”

She gently patted the side of the TARDIS and the Doctor could swear he heard her purr.

“She does not,” he replied. But he still stepped inside as quickly as he could and moved onto the controls.

“Where to next?” he asked.

River ignored his sarcastic tone. “Wherever you like. I've got what I came for.”

The Doctor glared darkly at her. He'd find out what she was up to. One way or another.

But first, he had a deckchair on Blackpool beach with his name on it, and he wasn't going to let anyone distract him from it. Not even River.


End file.
